Be empathetic: the last hug

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She was right there in front of me on the hospital bed, about to die, about to bid her final goodbye. I knew for certain that it was time, realizing so I held her in my arms for a while. I didn’t wish for her to suffer anymore. I was numb, head trying its best to process everything around.

The one thing she yearned for is family unity, watching her four kids & their families happy, settled and dining together. Among the grandchildren also, we weren’t united. She yearned to see all her grandchildren together, but only after she left, she saw us all weeping for her. Wonder if it was a sight of relief or pain for her?!

She loved all her grandchildren equally however she said I and my sister were her favorite. It was because only we two among her six grandchildren had managed to be focused on education and a career. Two elder cousins left education, did random jobs and fought among each other. One youngest one left school before tenth standard. Lastly one cousin sister at 18 got married and had a kid. Yet, she loved all her grandchildren equally, with all her heart.

All six, so differently brought up, weird childhood struggles for all. Not one family among her four kids gave a normal childhood to their kids, how on earth were we all supposed to be united?

She understood this childhood complexities because she was an empathetic person. She could actually see through each of her kid’s eyes and churn her thinking through all her grandchildren’s shoes.

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Looking akin at my sister as she shuffled the pack of cards. It was indeed her favorite game. Trick master at her game of cards and at hiding emotions in her game of life.

Something that seared my heart was how she never asked me to go and meet my cousin sister who got married or play with her kid. Grandma understood that my cousin sister was wrong, but she understood her problems & supported her. She was also understanding of the fact that it was traumatic on my end to take the kid in my hand of the cousin sister who is younger to me by months! How on earth one could be so empathetic, I still wonder.

I still cherish that last hug I gave her on the hospital bed. She was my only grandparent, and watching her suffer in her final stage of life was a grave feeling. The feeling sucked more when I knew she had few wishes, which haven’t come true even after she has left. So dear readers please, if you have grandparents, firstly go and hug them. Try to make them happy, do your bit.

My idea of life

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Imagine you have failed your final year exam, there is no chance of a re-exam. Imagine you are wasting a year & money is already spent for further course admission. You have never failed before and this one time you did, you doomed your parent’s money big time. What would you do?

A. Cry, feel useless & later try to die.

B. Cry, feel useless yet later try to use the year in hand productively.

It is good if you chose option B but in any tiny part of your brain you considered option A then well sadly your idea of life is wrong.

 A college professor while explaining how to add conflicts in a script said ‘Tell me any great story which doesn’t have a struggle, there will be none. Stories of men become great because of the struggles and complications they face & ways in which they deal them.’

Exam failure is just an example life can throw many different googlies at you and one has to learn to deal with it. Escaping is never the solution, coping with difficulties and coming out stronger is part of living life.

A major chunk of suicide cases apart from farmers is of youngsters according to many online stats 2015.These young people apparently killed themselves because they were unable to cope with exam failures, pregnancy etc.

Such stats scare me; did no one tell them that life is not supposed to be a cake walk? Please, cry your problems out, speak up to someone and find a solution & remember always, you have no right to take your own life when you have no hand in getting it. If you have a will to solve and issue you will find a way, and taking your life is never the way out.

When you reach the point to kill yourself nothing makes sense, but one has to give the situation sometime, try to understand things better. Everyone has a different way of dealing difficult situations, reading a book, travelling, crying it out, talking to people etc,  I would suggest read & try this, may be life will look better to you!