Idea of self

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A small attempt to understand the link between mirrors and perception of self


‘It’s been two years I haven’t seen myself in the mirror’ said Aniket Supe, an artist I had an opportunity to meet recently. I had a prolonged conversation on various topics with him but this statement replayed in my mind.

In the following days, I asked few of my friends to not look into a mirror or any kind of reflection of themselves for a day. I asked them to write in their experiences to me. One of the common response was conscious behavior, they felt conscious of every single thing they did. A cluster of them felt totally opposite and loved the experiment, it made them feel confident. One interesting response from few was that it didn’t really matter and make a difference as they hardly care of how they look.

Mirrors being part of daily routine was a common problem as said in experiences. Some people I asked to are still trying the challenge as mirrors are so much part of their daily chores. Applying kajal, phone screens, rear-view mirrors, car windows, glass doors and much more.

‘When we look into a mirror to get ready before we leave, we look at ourselves and try to mould depending on where we are heading to, like on a date, college, interview etc. I don’t want to corrupt the way I look, I wish to be as pure as possible.’ This artist did make sense as the people who got conscious was because they have this perception of themselves to be portrayed, and they wish to look in away and maintain so.

The people who on the other hand felt confident in their minds made that perception and convinced themselves of their amazing looks to feel confident. The bunch of didn’t care and for whom the task was simple have a perception of self stagnant and for them personality doesn’t really relate to what and how they look. Sadly the people unable to do this have  a strong perception of self which they are unable to rethink.

This is a subjective analysis based on the people who did the task for me. This experiment made me believe that the line between inward and outward self perception is thin & so gets more complicated to understand the usage of mirror today. Many people who did this small task for me did say it helped them understand and accept themselves both on the inside and outside. Try it and let me know if it works for you.

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3 P’s to Practice

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Two weeks into my last academic year in college, I realised I hadn’t learned something important – to put forth what I feel in my class, without the fear of being judged. I still didn’t have the guts to say what I felt, I wrote down things in my book but my lips didn’t manage to say it.

However, on the first day of the third week a miracle happened, I went for a walk on the beach alone, analysed whatever was happening and penned down how one can get over this and speak in class without fear. These are the 3P’s that I keep rewinding in my head when such a fear hits my head.

Process

One important thing which helped the fear to rule my mind was the loss of confidence I had in the opinion I had to put forth. In order to feel more confident about what needs to be said, it needs to churn well in my head. I read up and justified and convinced myself before saying it.

Proceed

It is an art to learn how to say it. I have heard this a million times, ‘Your point was right but the way you said was wrong’. This is something I am still working on, how to say what I feel in the most polite way possible. However, it is almost a month I have got over this fear to speak in class and have been doing well so far.

Peace

After saying what needs to be said it is essential to make peace with it. You can be wrong or right, once said, discussed and done the thought should be off the head. Keep mulling over the thought is not going to help in anyway irrespective of the point being right or wrong.

These 3P’s helped me overcome fear of speaking in class, but it also made me speak in other public gatherings with confidence.

5Ws and 1H of Self-Growth

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Who?

The answer is you, one needs to have the will to change and become a better person. Here in the context of being a stronger person emotionally, the zeal to be stronger. You should feel that yes, I have to be stronger than this; I can’t feel sad or broken every other day. I have to know how to deal life without certain people I want in it, and with certain people I do not want in it. If there is such a will to be stronger, look forward to the next step.

What?

It is basically how one can take charge of situations that are emotionally challenging and come out victorious in it. One needs to give self sometime, time to the situation, to take emotional charge of it. So, if one is sure of having a growth emotionally, then should be ready to have ‘self-time’ or ‘me-time’ regularly. If that is asking of too much, do not go the next steps.

When?

For a better understanding of situations, this self-time should be given daily. Doing anything that you like, doing it alone, this makes a difference to the mind and how it functions, and therefore should be done on regular mostly daily basis.

Where?

Where ever on earth but has to be alone, this different from being lonely. Making and drinking a coffee, going for a walk etc. It can be anything, but has to make you feel peaceful and talk to your inner-self.

Why?

Sometime into this process of self-growth and giving ‘me-time’ on a daily or regular basis the question ‘why’ is not surprising. This process of self-growth helps to be a better person than one was, also helps increase ‘emotional quotient’ which is now a days a big thing than ‘intelligent quotient’.

How?

One needs to grow from within more than physically, this can happen only when sometime is given to understand one’s faults and weakness and build on it. A regular check of your self-growth can do wonders to become a better person. The only purpose to focus on self-growth is to be better and stronger emotional person than one was before.

Try to give yourself time on a regular basis and observe the positive changes. Do let me know if you try and what worked for you.